Please help me revise the first paragraph, and gimme some advices on how to make it more attractive. Thanks so much for you time. Hi Jeff, Your first paragraph is rather attractive already. Here are some other words or phrases that need work: However two spaces always after a period or a colon on case-by-case basis 'basis' is countable and singular buildings since comma needed the aesthetic, cultural, and historic value value is a generalized concept-- no article Your final sentence of the paragraph is too strongly opposed to the preceding opinion.
The paragraph's beginning suggests that you support preservation, yet the concluding sentence suggests you support modernization. While it may be necessary in an essay to at least give lip service to opposing views, I find that students write better, stronger and clearer essays if they choose one side or the other to support, rather than trying to represent both sides.
I don't know whether you have that option in this assigment, though. Thank you so much, Mr. But what if we are unable to identify the quote author's gender? Could I just use "he" for all of them? I find that students write better, stronger and clearer essays if they choose one side or the other to support, rather than trying to represent both sides. Even though we know that the other side is right under certain situation, we still have to support just one side and give just lip service to the other side if necessary?
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